Taking Care

You may have noticed by now that our blogging has slowed a little.  And, by "a little" I really mean that it has slowed to a turtle's pace.  We're sorry.  Well, I'm sorry.  I guess Crissy could have picked up the slack...but she's been a little busy taking care of me.

A while ago, I posted about big changes going on in our world.  One of those big changes was my change in job.  April 4 was the official first day - and well, things since about mid-March have been just a little bit nutty.  Preparing to leave ABC was difficult on many levels.  I love that place.  Not past tense...totally present.  Love.  That was a big factor as to why it was difficult.  But, beyond that - I just had a ton of shit that needed to be done before it could actually be my last day.  Case noting?  Not exactly my favorite thing to do.  Nor is closing files.  Good thing Lynn loves me despite these flaws.  So, as my days at ABC came to an end, I was spending lots of late nights at the office.....and not blogging.

Speed up a few days to the start of my new job at SIU.  And, well, it's been something of a time warp - or a time slug.  It's really hard to say whether it has flown by - or if it has taken for.freaking.ever.  Needless to say, I haven't felt like life is normal yet.  I think it's slowly starting to get there, but I just don't quite think we're at normal yet.  I now get up at 5:30 in the morning.  Every morning.  If you have EVER met me, you know this isn't exactly something I'm fond of.  My ideal working hours?  10am to 2pm.  Those are my prime waking hours.  That or about 8pm to 11pm.  Either way - 5:30am is not it.  Beyond that, there's the driving.  The anxiety.  That's a whole other paragraph, though it could be its own post, really.  There's the lunch making the night before.  There's the outfit picking out the night before.  There's really just about everything crammed in before bed.  Ugh.

Here's the deal.  I hate change.  I think I've mentioned this more than once.  Change brings me anxiety.  Not feeling confident in what I'm doing?  You guessed it, anxiety.  Driving in bad weather?  Yep, anxiety.  New social settings?  Anxiety.  Fear of failure?  Anxiety.  So, you know what this job change has done to me?  Brought on a hell of a lot of anxiety.  Seriously.  I'm not kidding.  I'm not sure I've ever needed Xanax like I do now.  But, since I hate meds...which is ironic since I now work for the psychiatrists.....I'm not going to do anything about it.  It will get better.  It has a little.  It's just slow moving.

More anxiety?  Picking out clothes.  I HATE picking out clothes.  And, subsequently....Crissy now hates picking out clothes with me.  :-/  Sorry, honey.  She's pretty great, though.  Nearly every night, we go upstairs early (so we can actually get to bed at the desired time) so we can find my clothes.  I never know where any of my things are - and she's brilliant and always finds them.  Man, I would literally be lost without her.  Or, well, I guess more technically - my clothes would be lost without her.

There's been no time for blogging because I've been so wrapped up in dealing with all of these changes and still trying to have a seemingly normal social life, all while Crissy has been taking care of me.  Which leads me to what will likely be a sappy moment.  Consider this your warning.  You can choose to either scroll past the cute bulldog puppy and read the sap....or just stop here.  Again, your choice. You've been warned.

(This pic is special for Crissy - she'll love it)

Okay, here's the deal.  I'm in Farmersville staying with Crissy's parents right now (gas conservation, people), so this makes me typing all of this less weird.  No worries.

I've always known Crissy was amazing.  I mean, it's exactly why I want to marry her.  But, sometimes things happen in life that just reaffirm what we've always know, you know?  Crissy has always been supportive....amazingly, crazy, supportive.  Of everything.  Crissy shows her love in many ways, but since I started this new job, it's been in ways I never expected.  Crissy helps me find clothes nearly every night - even though she hates it - because she knows it will keep me from freaking out at some point.  Crissy peels my oranges, as we make my lunch for the next day together....even though her hands are *too sensitive* for the cold of the orange.  She's learned to make coffee and sometimes gets it ready at night, instead of me.  She goes to bed early with me.  She doesn't complain *too* much when bedtime ends up being later than planned because of aforementioned freakouts over clothes.  Crissy has taken care of me in ways I didn't know I needed taken care of.  I can only hope that I give as much to her as she gives to me.  Because, man, I'm one lucky lady and I love her tons.

Change

2011 is shaping up to be the year of change.  Now, normally I don't really like change.  In fact, it scares me more often than not.  However, the changes happening in 2011?  They all seem to be pretty great.  And, with the exception of only one, don't scare me one bit.  So, here are the changes that are happening:

• Crissy and I are getting married.  Seems like the pretty obvious change, huh?  Just as a note - this is definitely not one of the changes that scares me.  This is totally an exciting one!  (I almost accidentally wrote "expensive" - which must have been a Freudian slip or something...because weddings are totally expensive, even when you try really hard for them not to be).

• As blogged about previously, Crissy and I have really changed our eating habits, workout routines and well, our lives.  I mean, I was excited about having diet coke the other day at lunch.  If that doesn't signify "change," I don't know what does.  These life changes are equalling things like smaller bodies, lighter weights on the scales and just generally happier "Crissy's" and "Trish's"

• I got a new ring.  Now, you might be wondering "Who the heck needs a new ring after only being engaged for a measly 6 months?"  And, that's a darn good question.  But the answer - this girl.  Not because I didn't love my old ring....because I did.  I mean, I picked it out.  I loved it.  But, Crissy and I went shopping for wedding bands a few weeks ago at two different stores, which left me feeling really bummed.  She tried on wedding bands and things looked gorgeous with her ring.  When I tried them on, my ring looked like a dingy blah thing.  Every. Single. Time.  So, we had a long chat about what to do - and resolved to get a new setting.  Now, the extra part of this is that we incorporated a diamond I already had, used two of the aquamarine stones from my engagement ring from her (aka the original one she gave me in August), and then bought a new setting for it all.  I LOVE it so much and can't stop looking at it.  Want to see how it all looks now? (of course you do!)

• That last major change that seems to be happening in 2011?  A new job.  For those that haven't heard, I was offered a position with SIU's School of Medicine, Department of Psychiatry about two weeks ago.  The job is pretty spectacular and incorporates several things I want to do in life, all into one.  So, I'll be able to be a therapist, teach seminars to psychiatry residents (students, not crazies), supervise residents and do research.  The downside:  Well, there's more than one.  I have to leave ABC - that's a big downside.  I love it there.  But, the upside of that is that I'll be able to still support the agency, attend fundraisers, and we'll be able to adopt through them without any conflict of interest.  Another downside of the new job?  Driving to Springfield. Every. Single. Day.  ugh.  But, they didn't blink an eye when I asked about taking the train when the roads are bad (aka arriving 2.5 hours late for work) - and it will totally be worth it.  Another downside....change scares me.  Yep, this is the 2011 change that creates fear.  I hate doing things that I might fail at.  New job is totally included.  So, I keep trying to remind myself that SIU wouldn't have offered me the job if they didn't think I could do it.

So, bring it on 2011 - change will be great this year!!!